Making Sense out of Kavanaugh

By Michelle Martin, PhD, MSc, MSW

I don't ever recall feeling such tension in the air as I do right now. I don't ever remember feeling so triggered or seeing so many friends triggered. I don't ever remember going onto Facebook and reading post after post by women disclosing the various ways they've been sexually exploited, harassed, abused and assaulted.

I don't ever remember so much anger. I know many of you, both men and women (probably more men), want this to go away, quickly. It's terrible to live in a state of constant tension like this. Each side is blaming the other for the polarization, and demonizing those who are advocating for their side. I'm not going to do that. I'm not going to name-call, or frame all Republicans as evil, or all Democrats as angels, because they aren't either of those things.

​This isn't as much of a political issue for me as it is a cultural one, with political overtones. So I thought I'd share some of my thoughts on each issue, with the hope that I can contribute to increased clarity, while at the same time validating people's pain. I'm answering both as a woman who has been deeply affected by the Kavanaugh fiasco, as a social worker who has worked with both survivors and perpetrators, as well as an educator/scholar. So here goes:

1. Why did Dr. Christine Blasey Ford wait 35 years to come forward?

She actually didn't, but it's accurate that she didn't report the assault to the police or tell her parents. Instead, she lived with it every day, and disclosed it only to her husband and her therapist, apparently years later. Research shows that rape is THE most underreported crime (2 out of 3 rapes and attempted rapes go unreported).

​There are three primary reasons for this: stigma, fear and the internalization of social norms, meaning that many women don't actually frame their assaults as criminal behavior because they are socialized to think what they experienced was not that big of a deal or that it was their fault. But the psychological impact remains the same, and it's often years later that victims are triggered and gain enough awareness to connect the dots and realize what happened to them. Also, we need to remember that sexual assault was even more stigmatized in the 1980s than it is now. A 1991 attitudinal study found the following:

"24% of the respondents agreed with the statement, “women frequently cry rape falsely”"

"22% agreed that rape is often provoked by the victim"

"22% agreed a woman could prevent a rape if she really wanted to"

"32% agreed that some women ask to be raped and may enjoy it"

"29% agreed that if a woman says no to having sex, she means maybe or even yes."

Also, several studies in the 1980s found that most men believed these "rape myths," at least to some extent, were tolerant of rape and had little empathy for rape victims. Keep this in mind: most cops, prosecutors and judges are men. This is likely why Dr. Ford didn't come forward, and why she felt so torn and terrified. This is why most women didn't (and don't) come forward.

Sources: Department of Justice, Office of Justice Programs, Bureau of Justice Statistics, National Crime Victimization Survey, 2010-2014 (2015);

Shepherd, J. (2002). Reflections on a rape trial: the role of rape myths and jury selection in the outcome of a trial. Affilia, 17(1), 69-92. Available: http://www.d.umn.edu/…/4925Ho…/Rape%20myths/Rape%20Trial.pdf

2. Could this be a case of mistaken identity?

​Yes, it could be, but it's highly unlikely. In fact, "mistaken identity" is a common rape myth that is frequently used as a defense in criminal cases: "we aren't saying she wasn't raped, we're just saying she was so...scared, upset, traumatized, drunk, etc., etc. that she identified the wrong perpetrator." The three most common defenses used by criminal defense attorneys in rape cases are: consent, identification, and denying that the crime occurred.

Source: Shepherd, J. (2002). Reflections on a rape trial: the role of rape myths and jury selection in the outcome of a trial. Affilia, 17(1), 69-92. Available: http://www.d.umn.edu/…/4925Ho…/Rape%20myths/Rape%20Trial.pdf

3. Does what happened 35 years ago matter?

It depends. Let's say Kavanaugh did do this, or when he honestly reflected on his wild high school years a few years down the road, he had partial memories of doing some really shitty things to girls. Let's say he had a "come to Jesus" moment later in life, and realized "holy shit, I was an asshole."

I would expect that this newfound epiphany would be evident in his writings and rulings.

I would expect that he would be more sensitive to patriarchy and privilege.

I would expect that he'd be honest about his past in all contexts, and then even use his past poor behavior as a vehicle for increasing awareness in others.

Now, let's say that he did assault Dr. Ford in high school, in the way she described—pushing her unwillingly into a bedroom and throwing her on the bed, climbing on top of her and pinning her down, putting his hand over her mouth when she screamed, all while his friend was laughing, cheering him on and turning the music up louder to mask her screams. Then when she escaped, he and his buddy left the room laughing at her all the way down the stairs. This was their idea of fun.

And now imagine that he never had an epiphany, never reflected on his bad behavior, because for him, this is "just how popular guys acted." Now imagine that she comes "out of the woodwork" and accuses him of sexual assault, and he's appalled because he has power and privilege, and he's always been able to act however he wanted and get away with it because he's a Georgetown Prep guy and a Yale guy.

So he testifies and denies it all, acting like a choir boy. I have a problem with this because it's inherently dishonest and cowardly. it's also very immature and entitled.

​Yes we all make mistakes, but this was no garden variety mistake. This was sexual assault, even by patriarchal 1980s standards.

4.  Sen. Feinstein held onto the letter for weeks, and this could have been investigated thoroughly before the hearings concluded. This is just a Dem ploy, and they are exploiting "poor Dr. Ford."

Maybe for the Dems this is a political ploy, but Dr. Ford clearly stated this was not her motivation. But let's say, for the sake of argument, that the Democrats did get together and decide to time the release of the letter in the 11th hour to stall Kavanaugh's appointment. I don't know. And here's the thing: you don't know either. We will likely never know. If you believe this to be true, you are making an assumption, which is fine, but at least admit it's an assumption, not fact.

The reality is that there is no timeframe where Kavanaugh's appointment must occur. And both sides have strategies and play political games to achieve their agenda. The night before the hearing the Republicans (finally) released over 27,000 documents on Kavanaugh that the Democrats had been requesting for weeks. That was likely a ploy.

And in 2016, Mitch McConnell refused to even have hearings on Merrick Garland because the Republicans controlled the Senate, and he was perfectly content to have a seat open on the Supreme Court for almost an entire year. The last time something like this happened was when Reagan was president and he nominated Anthony Kennedy (R) when the Dems had control of the Senate, and they held the hearings and Kennedy was confirmed. So what the Republicans did in 2016 by blocking Garland's appointment was a political ploy, and it worked for them.

​So maybe the timing is a "Dem ploy" or maybe it isn't, but either way, please knock off the outrage if you weren't outraged about the 11th hour document drop or the blocking of Merrick Garland.
​
I've heard many arguments regarding why the Republicans are pushing the nomination through so fast, and why the Democrats want it to go more slowly. Part of this is common sense. If you authentically embrace a progressive agenda, then of course you aren't going to want a very conservative, pro-corporate/anti-regulation judge to sit on the bench for the next 40 years. And if you're a conservative, then of course you don't want to wait until after the mid-term elections and risk losing the House, and maybe even the Senate (and thus the seat).

We'll never know the exact reason why the Republicans are rushing the nomination—Republicans want the court to rule in favor of the plaintiff in Gamble v. the United States, because it benefits Trump and key Republicans? Corporations are driving this ship because they want to make more money? Or, the motivation of the Democrats — they want to protect Roe v. Wade, civil rights and the environment? Again, we'll never know, but it's enough to understand that the stakes are high, and conspiracy theories aside, neither party is beyond using political strategies to achieve their agenda. 

This whole notion of demonizing all Democrats though, the way Trump has been doing, is a tactic used by genocidal dictators. It has the dangerous potential to light a tinderbox, and if you're contributing to this dynamic, stop it. It's dishonest and will only lead to increased polarization. If you're sitting around all day soaking up political conspiracy theories disseminated on Facebook (from the Right or Left), you're becoming brainwashed. If you've convinced yourself that Republicans are blessed by God, and Democrats are in concert with the Devil (or visa versa), you're becoming radicalized.

​Walk away from your computer and find something else to do.

5. Some women falsely accuse men of rape.

This is true, some women do falsely accuse men of rape. Sometimes an accusation of rape is a misunderstanding (both people are highly intoxicated, etc.), and sometimes it's intentionally malicious. 


But the reality is that of all sexual assaults, research shows that only 2% to 7% consist of false reports, with the most methodologically sound studies showing the rate of purposely false allegations to be at about 5%. So we need to always keep this possibility in mind, while also recognizing that the rate of false reporting is extremely low.

Sources: De Zutter, André & Horselenberg, Robert & Koppen, Peter. (2017). The Prevalence of False Allegations of Rape in the United States from 2006-2010. Journal of Forensic Psychology. 02. 10.4172/2475-319X.1000119. Available: https://www.researchgate.net/publication/315728247_The_Prevalence_of_False_Allegations_of_Rape_in_the_United_States_from_2006-2010​

Shepherd, J. (2002). Reflections on a rape trial: the role of rape myths and jury selection in the outcome of a trial. Affilia, 17(1), 69-92. Available: http://www.d.umn.edu/…/4925Ho…/Rape%20myths/Rape%20Trial.pdf

6. Dr. Ford vs. Kavanaugh: Who Do You Believe?

I believe Dr. Ford, and let me tell you why. I am a social worker and have worked in forensic social work, and have also researched and written about forensic interviewing, rape myths, etc.

I found Dr. Ford to be honest, forthright and accommodating. She was also willingly took a polygraph, and asked for an in-depth FBI investigation. I found Brett Kavanugh, on the other hand, to be defensive, evasive, arrogant and self-righteous. His behavior reminded me of a man with no empathy, no awareness of patriarchy or of women's issues, currently or historically. His behavior was combative, defensive and quite honestly, reminded me of tactics I saw in the courtroom when I was a victim's advocate.

Rather than answering questions directly, he often played semantics games. He responded with over-the-top outrage, and used the consensus effect to prove his point. He turned the issue around on the questioner as a tactic to avoid answering the question. When Sen. Klobuchar asked if he had a drinking problem, he aggressively demanded to know if SHE had a drinking problem.

When Sen. Whitehouse directly asked Kavanaugh the definition of "Renate Alumnus," he never answered the question. Instead, he accused the Senator of "dragging Renate into this mess,"and questioned the Senator's motives in doing so. You want to talk about strategy? That was legal strategy 101. So "even if," "even if," "even if," I found Kavanaugh's behavior to be belligerent, disrespectful and highly partisan.

7. Women who are crying #metoo are weak and playing the "victim card"

This is probably the saddest and most unfortunate of all the opinions being whipped about recently. Here is the hard, cold, reality: the United States is ranked as one of THE most patriarchal countries among western countries (we're ranks as more patriarchal than Uganda, Botswana and Peru, folks).

Patriarchy is insidious, especially when couched in the Cinderella story, with narratives that convince women that their social status is derived from a man, when it's 2018 and we're still operating off of 1950s dating scripts, and when our social welfare system (TANF) is still based on a "male bread winner" model that focuses exclusively on "marriage promotion" as the primary tool to combat poverty.

Many women are making connections for the first time, which involve remembering things we may not have had in the forefront of our minds in decades. It's all built up and WE ARE PISSED!

I am SO PISSED that I had to contend with grown men pulling their cars over and flashing their penises at me at the age of 14 through 17, when I walked home from high school.

And I am SO PISSED that when I was 16, my 70-year old boss thought it was perfectly okay to press his penis against my back, pinning me to the front counter at the Bark 'n Fin Pet Store, or invited me over to his house to watch porn when his wife was out of town (and offered me a raise if I went...I didn't).

And I am SO PISSED that I was followed, cat-called, and stalked, yes CRIMINALLY STALKED by men throughout my 20s.

I am SO PISSED that I've had to deal with aggressive men on dates starting at the age of 14 years old.

I'm PISSED that older men targeted me constantly—teachers in high school, professors and staff in college, MY DOCTOR, and men in my various neighborhoods. It was predatory and I knew it, but I still got sucked in and manipulated by a few of them, and this PISSES ME OFF!

I am SO PISSED that I cannot go hiking on the trails behind my house in Laguna Beach because I might get attacked, because women get attacked, even in broad daylight, even in very nice neighborhoods EVERY SINGLE DAY!

And I am SO PISSED that women of color have it 1000 times worse than I do!

But do you know what pisses me off the most? That I never reported any of these incidences because I was taught from a very young age that this is what being a woman was all about. I was even taught that I should be flattered by the "attention"! Mostly, I was taught to take it in stride. And I did. 

Until, that is, I started reading the #metoo stories, and at some point I thought "oh shit, #metoo."

Yesterday I heard our president go on and on about how sick and wrong and unjust it is that Brett Kavanaugh was being "traumatized" in this way. He then referenced himself as a victim of false allegations himself—a man who openly bragged about his ability to grab women's pussies and walking in on YOUNG Miss America contestants, in various stages of undress BECAUSE HE COULD.

But, I did not hear him say a single word about how this crisis has impacted Dr. Ford, or how it has broken the hearts of 80% of the women in the United States (yes, 80% because that's the percentage of women in this country who have been sexually assaulted or harassed).

Praising Dr. Ford because she was soft, somewhat pensive and kind, and praising Brett Kavanaugh because he was aggressiveness and oppositional is PATRIARCHY.

Saying "boys will be boys" is PATRIARCHY.

Saying that "all boys pinned girls down, tried to tear their clothing off and covered their mouths to keep other party-goers from hearing her screams" is PATRIARCHY.

Trivializing patriarchy by acting like sexual harassment and assault is no big deal is PATRIARCHY.

This is 1950s talk.

This is archaic, patriarchal, white-men-rule-the-universe talk.

This is not where the United States should be in 2018.

Finally, regardless of what "side" you're on, please remember there is often pain behind people's angry social media posts and their words—so many women are just coming to terms with their own histories of sexual harassment and assaults and the patriarchy that has kept them silent for so many years. They are experiencing a range of emotions, and they're just plain raw right now. Please avoid being demeaning or dismissive.

And there are some men out there who have been falsely accused of sexual assault, and their lives have been upended as a result.  And there are other men who simply don't know what to do or say, and they are scared to death of saying the wrong thing, and of being grouped into the 'patriarchal pig' category.

​So keep advocating, keep being angry, and keep demanding change, but also, please be kind.